I am Jack's Zen Revelation

It's funny where inspiration or revelations come from. Particularly when it comes after a drinking invitation and in the shower, you just have to pause and wonder.

But onto the meat of this post.

A few weeks back, I was lost, without purpose. And a convergence of events led me to question re-evaluate my position in life. In so doing, I invoked Rabbi Hillel's three questions. The universe opened up for me tonight and I've the answers:

1) If I am not for myself, then who is for me?

No one and everyone. And that is the point.

2) If I am only for myself, what am I?

This one needs a longer explanation. Throughout my life, any TV show (Babylon 5), music (NIN), movie (Fight Club) or book (A Prayer for Owen Meany) that involved the theme of self-sacrifice had a particular resonance with me. For example, on one episode of Babylon 5, the character states,

"The Third Principle of Sentient Life is the capacity for self-sacrifice."

Of all the lines ever spoken on that show for example, this one always stuck with me. As my university career progressed, I volunteered less and less because of circumstance. It happens, that's the way it unfolded. I accept that. As I grew older, I felt more empty inside. Upon reflection, the only times when I could feel good about myself was when I was able to help somebody about anything, big or small.

That was it. And as the prospects for personal relationships grow smaller, I realize that this is the my calling. While it may not be the ideal answer, it is the one given to me and I have been asked to accept it. For that, I will have to learn to be content. And of course I have to learn it. It is not an easy road. True altruism never is. Jesus, the teacher, showed me that. The result of a Catholic upbringing. And so I take this road less travelled, in my own small way.

So to answer the second question, "What am I?" The answer is simple,

"I am one who serves."

3) If not now, when?

That's obvious. It IS now. It begins today.