Mr. Brightside

Caveat: A., don't take this the wrong way, please. I meant every word I said to you this afternoon. I just have to say this...

I had something special. I had never felt this way before. It felt so good. It felt so good to make someone else happy. It had been a long time since I've been this happy. And now...

There's a postponement. I understand every reason behind and I support her (you) all the way. If it means time away now so that we can be together later, so be it. I will be with her (you) every step of the way. I meant it then, I mean it now. I want to be able to be her (your) friend through this time. I do.

It was fine. Until I took a step out onto the street, and my foot just fell through the pavement and I got swallowed up by this emptiness. It was strange. The world just developed this weight, making everything FEEL heavier. To have someone special like her and then not, in a heartbeat, I felt...incomplete. Again, I've never felt this before. It was strange. That's the only way to describe it.

I have my memories and my copy of Men with Brooms. I have her friendship. But most importantly, I have hope. That is what I hold onto. That is what I hang my toque on. Because my memory's shoddy at best. And it sometimes fails me when I need it most.

Those who know me, know I'm a cynical bastard. So, it will come as a surprise to those people (and even me) when I say I have hope. I've always thought of myself as without hope. Not in life overall, but in some instances, yes, without hope. But then she came into my life and I thought for the first time, that the world may actually be different. That, maybe, I have hope after all. This is why I hope. Because it is my hope that she will return, that we can start over and make something even better.

Hope, don't fail me now.